That, i think, is what You wanted.i'm here, "It's my birthday." i say to myself.A room. Recessed lighting turned down made it intimate and comforting. i sit in the chair that the letter instructed i sit in, and listen to my breathing, hoping You'll come for me soon.You don't. i dare not leave the room to ask where You are, so i let myself drift away, daydreaming at first, humming favorite songs, twisting my hair like i do when i'm stressed, and then darkness.The first thing i sense upon waking, is a scent. Cologne, mixing Patchouli, Sandalwood and Vetiver; masculine, powerful and very exotic. i peek through half closed eyelids and make out a form sitting in an armchair across from me, sitting and watching me sleep. i open my eyes. i want to see You, but i don't want You to see what's in my eyes, so i look at You and then move my eyes to other places in the room.You're on your feet, taking the 15 or so steps towards me. i stop breathing... what are You going to do?? You take my hand. Just nothing. My main feeling was fear. Fear of losing my children.For a brief second I considered letting Lisa's actions slide, that way I could keep my family. Instantly, I knew I could not tolerate Lisa going out with another guy, or guys. It just was not in my DNA.This was not the Lisa I married. I do not know who she was, but I did not love that person. Fear of losing my children filled my mind, pushing out all other thoughts.I kept seeing the future like my brother, fighting for every second with my sons. Missing out on key times in their lives. I ran thru a dozen options, from violent action to complicated plans. All ended with me in jail, or Lisa getting the kids. Everything led to the same conclusion: in a divorce I was going to get screwed, and lose seeing my boys. Lisa had really boxed me in.Then a bizarre idea came to mind. It was the path I decided to take, because the action was so out there and so out of character it would blow the circuit fuses in the person's brain.
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